Patches - VELCRO COMPATIBLE PATCHES

🧘 Inner Peace Is Overrated Some people breathe deeply, clear their minds, and find their center. You release one dramatic sigh and let profanity ha...

🌾 Maybe Gluten Is the Problem Everyone assumes you can’t tolerate gluten, but has anyone bothered to ask how gluten feels about you? Maybe Gluten C...

🧠 SMART ENOUGH TO BE DANGEROUS Knows just enough to make things interesting and absolutely no promises about how this ends.Sized at 3x2 and hook &a...

💥 BAD INTENTIONS. GOOD TECHNIQUE. Play clean, hit hard, and make sure the film looks beautiful. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this...

🍑 Inspirational, Unfortunately If your butt hair can survive everything it’s been through, so can you. Your Butt Hair Survives Shitty Situations, Y...

😂 A Truly Complete Package Being funny was already enough, but apparently the universe decided to overdeliver. Not Only Am I Funny... I Have Nice T...

🍺 PREGAME SPECIALIST Elite preparation. Questionable hydration. Zero intention of pacing yourself. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, t...

🏈 WE’LL FIX IT MONDAY Sunday is for bad decisions. Monday is for pretending we learned from them. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, th...

🍺 I CAME FOR THE TAILGATE The game is really just something that happens after the good part. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this r...

📋 ASSISTANT TO THE ASSISTANT COACH All the responsibility, none of the authority, and somehow still getting yelled at. Sized at 3x2 and hook &...

🥞 CERTIFIED PANCAKE MAKER Flattening defenders and ruining defensive film one block at a time. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this ...

🥞 PANCAKE DEPARTMENT Serving defensive linemen flat, one block at a time. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this removable patch swaps...

🏈 HIT FIRST. APOLOGIZE LATER. Good sportsmanship starts right after the whistle. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this removable patc...

😌 POLITE. FIRM. DONE. A professionally worded way to say absolutely not without getting called into the office. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop ...

🛑 CONVERSATION CLOSED For those special moments when “please” is doing a lot of heavy lifting. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this ...

🎖️ SURVIVED BAND CAMP Early mornings, questionable tan lines, and enough marching drills to qualify as basic training. Sized at 3x2 and hook &...

🦕 PREHISTORIC SMALL TALK “Ask Me About Dinosaurs” is less of an invitation and more of a legally binding commitment to hear dinosaur facts for th...

💦 Science Has Failed Us Again “Boob sweat” is accurate, but it lacks imagination. Why Is It Called Boob Sweat and Not Humidititties? is made for su...

🍺 TWO-MINUTE DRINKING DRILL Clock’s running. Cooler’s open. Execute the game plan. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this removable pa...

🏈 PEAK PERFORMANCE WAS 2003 The knees remember. The hamstrings definitely remember. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this removable p...

🔥 PARKING LOT PITMASTER Serving smoked meat, cold drinks, and unsolicited grilling advice before kickoff. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compat...

📣 MOTIVATIONAL YELLING DEPARTMENT Positive reinforcement, just delivered at maximum volume. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this rem...

🍺 FOURTH & DRUNK When the game plan is questionable but the cooler strategy is flawless. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this re...

🏈 FANTASY FOOTBALL IS MY TOXIC TRAIT Nothing personal. Your friendship just isn’t worth more than a questionable flex start. Sized at 3x2 and hoo...