New Patches - VELCRO COMPATIBLE PATCHES

Think It. Type It. Patch It. Turn whatever is rattling around in your brain into a one-of-a-kind removable patch. Describe your idea, choose a temp...

💸 Exchange Rates Are Humbling Confidence says you’re a perfect 10. Currency conversion says we should manage expectations. I’m a 10 but in Pesos is...

🐍 Relax. You’re Not Being Oppressed. Nobody is coming for your truck, your grill, or your Facebook memes. No One’s Treading on You, Sweetie is made...

🤨 We’re Going to Need an Explanation Sometimes “what happened?” just isn’t strong enough. Hey, Quick Question: What in the Actual Fuck? is made for...

👀 Look a Little Closer At first glance, Vision • Creativity • Passion looks like a perfectly respectable motivational message. Read the highlighted...

🍑 Inspirational, Unfortunately If your butt hair can survive everything it’s been through, so can you. Your Butt Hair Survives Shitty Situations, Y...

🧬 Evolution Really Dropped the Ball Two billion years of adaptation, survival, and natural selection led all the way to… this. Well, Aren’t You a W...

👀 Unqualified but Available No medical degree. No professional training. Absolutely no reason to be involved. I’m Not a Gynecologist, but I’ll Take...

✅ Finally, a List You’ll Actually Finish Forget groceries, errands, and pretending you’re going to clean the garage. To Do List: Your Mom keeps pri...

✨ Delusion With a Deadline Think it. Believe it. Say it out loud until the universe gets uncomfortable and gives in. Manifest That Shit is made for...

😏 Kindness With Conditions It sounds polite. It might even be polite. That really depends on what kind of day you’ve earned. Have the Day You Deser...

🍩 The Donut Has Spoken Six-pack abs take discipline, dedication, and saying no to donuts. So naturally, we chose donuts. Abs Are Great, but Have Yo...

🧊 I’m Just Here For The Ice Packs Patch Training hard is great. Walking normally afterward is optional. The I’m Just Here For The Ice Packs Patch i...

🌾 Maybe Gluten Is the Problem Everyone assumes you can’t tolerate gluten, but has anyone bothered to ask how gluten feels about you? Maybe Gluten C...

🤠 A Friendly Greeting With Questionable Manners Part cowboy welcome, part wildly inappropriate entrance. Howdy Putos is made for rowdy friends, bil...

😏 Finally, Some Healthy Competition Life may be rough, unfair, and generally terrible at customer service—but apparently it has met its match. Life...

🗣️ No Hablo Fucktardo Some conversations are not worth translating. The No Hablo Fucktardo patch is made for people with limited patience, excellen...

💃 Nobody Outworks Desperation You hustle, grind, and give 110%—because apparently your work ethic has something to prove. You Work Harder Than an U...

💦 Science Has Failed Us Again “Boob sweat” is accurate, but it lacks imagination. Why Is It Called Boob Sweat and Not Humidititties? is made for su...

🧘 Inner Peace Is Overrated Some people breathe deeply, clear their minds, and find their center. You release one dramatic sigh and let profanity ha...

🔥 Location Is Everything Doing nothing all day might look lazy—unless you’re parked beside a smoker with a drink in your hand. Then it’s patience, ...

😂 A Truly Complete Package Being funny was already enough, but apparently the universe decided to overdeliver. Not Only Am I Funny... I Have Nice T...

🐷 Finally, a Reason to Believe Forget miracles and impossible dreams—we’re focused on the menu. If Pigs Could Fly, I Bet Their Wings Would Be Delic...

🔊 Sound It Out At first glance, I124Q looks like a random collection of letters and numbers. Say it out loud, though, and the message becomes a lot...