NEW - VELCRO COMPATIBLE PATCHES

😌 POLITE. FIRM. DONE. A professionally worded way to say absolutely not without getting called into the office. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop ...

😏 Finally, Some Healthy Competition Life may be rough, unfair, and generally terrible at customer service—but apparently it has met its match. Life...

🎩 This Trick Is Adults Only Forget rabbits, cards, and pulling quarters from behind someone’s ear. For My Next Trick I Need a Condom and a Voluntee...

🧊 I’m Just Here For The Ice Packs Patch Training hard is great. Walking normally afterward is optional. The I’m Just Here For The Ice Packs Patch i...

🍺 I CAME FOR THE TAILGATE The game is really just something that happens after the good part. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this r...

🎥 FILM DOESN’T LIE Neither does the replay, unfortunately. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this removable patch swaps easily between...

🥞 CERTIFIED PANCAKE MAKER Flattening defenders and ruining defensive film one block at a time. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this ...

🏈 RUN THE DAMN BALL Because sometimes the entire offensive strategy should fit on one patch. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this re...

🥞 PANCAKE DEPARTMENT Serving defensive linemen flat, one block at a time. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this removable patch swaps...

🏈 HIT FIRST. APOLOGIZE LATER. Good sportsmanship starts right after the whistle. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this removable patc...

🛑 CONVERSATION CLOSED For those special moments when “please” is doing a lot of heavy lifting. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, this ...

🎖️ SURVIVED BAND CAMP Early mornings, questionable tan lines, and enough marching drills to qualify as basic training. Sized at 3x2 and hook &...

🦕 PREHISTORIC SMALL TALK “Ask Me About Dinosaurs” is less of an invitation and more of a legally binding commitment to hear dinosaur facts for th...

🎓 CLASS OF 2027 Senior year is coming. Time to master the ancient art of looking busy until graduation.Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatibl...

💦 Science Has Failed Us Again “Boob sweat” is accurate, but it lacks imagination. Why Is It Called Boob Sweat and Not Humidititties? is made for su...

🎓 A Well-Rounded Social Circle Some friends have diplomas. Some have businesses. Some have stories they can’t discuss until the statute of limitati...

🧠 Yesterday Already Took Enough Being mad about the past is understandable. Letting it ruin today is just giving yesterday overtime. Don’t Fuck Up ...

🏆 Looking This Good Is a Full-Time Job The posing, the compliments, the pressure to remain decorative—it never ends. Being a Trophy Husband Is Exha...

😏 It’s a Gift and a Burden Being this attractive comes with consequences. I’m So Sexy Even Life Gets Hard is made for confident comedians, shameles...

😇 Mostly Well-Behaved You’re sweet, innocent, and practically angelic—right up until that tiny 1% takes over. I’m 99% Angel, but Ohhh, That 1% is m...

🛑 That Sounds Like Somebody Else’s Problem Could you handle it? Probably. Are you going to? Absolutely not. That’s Not My Job is made for boundary-...

💸 It’s Okay Funds, I’m Insufficient Too Your bank account is doing its best. Unfortunately, so are you. The It’s Okay Funds, I’m Insufficient Too p...

🦆 LOW RENT. HIGH QUACK. Product Description:For the duck who knows how to keep it classy-ish. The Trailer Park Quack removable patch brings trashy ...

🦆 MISSION READY. QUACK APPROVED. Product Description:For the duck who takes every mission way too seriously. The Tactical Quack removable patch bri...